suddenly

it has happened suddenly.
no warning.
no way to be prepared.
yet, you can't stop what you're doing.
nor you can stop thinking about it.
it's a struggle to carry on,
but you're not suppose to be seen waivering.
i cried by myself,
away from other people's sight.
as i know others have done.
as it is normal to do.
yet, you can't be seen doing it.
i am lost tonight.
clinging to some work i didn't want to do.
strapped to these words that i didn't want to write.
waiting till tomorrow comes so i can think it's another day and it's all gonna be ok.
i'm sad and hurt.
i'm worried and unbalanced.
i'm disoriented and scared.
i'm angry and worthless.
i will hide now from all this, before it all appears too clear in front of my eyes and i can't avoid it anymore.
like i can't avoid the tears lining my face now.
all my love tonight goes out to s.r. wherever he is.